Inspiration Words: Canvas and Daydreaming
Wang Xueqing (wahng ssee-yoo-eh cheeng) pulled the easel out from where she had stashed it between her bed and her roommate’s bed and put a new canvas on the stand. She had only been able to afford a small canvas, but it was enough. She opened a few paints, humming as she began to mix them. A small fan spread hot, sticky air throughout the dorm room, and a fly flew through the open window. Although the room had an air conditioner, the girls only used it at night so they could save money. Xueqing’s roommates were probably at the library where they could get free air conditioning, but she felt that deep, familiar longing to paint.
Sweat had beaded on her face by the time she finished mixing the paints and began painting her daydreams onto the fresh canvas. She spread out the clear blue sky, then tall sticks that pretended to be trees, with palm branches that offered little hope of shade waving in the breeze. A few round coconuts high above the ground completed the palm trees. She painted the sand stretching out along the bottom of the canvas and the ocean’s white capped waves chasing each other towards the shore.
Spoken English class had been confusing as usual, and she preferred to spend class time daydreaming about the next scene she would paint. Coming to Hainan Island with these clear blue skies and a wide ocean had been her one consolation when her parents refused to let her attend art school. But she wasn’t allowed to leave campus during the week, and on the weekends, her roommates were too “busy” to go to the beach, where they risked their skin getting even the tiniest bit darker. In the middle of campus, there was a large hole in the ground next to signs with conceptual pictures of the beautiful lake it would one day become. She hoped they would finish it soon, so at least she could enjoy a bit of water on campus. Until then, she would have to venture outside campus whenever she could to find some inspiration.
She had finally convinced a classmate, Kun Na (koon nah), to go to the beach with her last weekend, and they had taken a three-wheeled cart that felt like it might fall apart as it bounced over pot-holed roads. Conversation was impossible as the motor screamed, but thankfully, they only had to endure the bumps and the noise for about twenty minutes before they gave the driver fifteen yuan, and he parked next to some other three-wheeled vehicles to smoke and rest with his feet in the air.
Xueqing barely noticed what the driver was doing as she hurried towards those warm sands with her new friend. They had spent the afternoon in the shade, enjoying the breeze and the view. The coconuts were overpriced at nine yuan, but they had each bought one anyway and sipped them while they sat on a blanket. That view had inspired her daydreams in class, and now she was determined to paint it.
As the beach took shape under her guidance, Xueqing thought back to her English class. She usually tried to hide in the background, but today she had been unable to escape her teacher.
“Why did you choose to be an English major?” her teacher had asked. Kun Na had helped to translate the question when Xueqing couldn’t decipher the meaning.
The teacher spoke with kindness and genuine curiosity, but Xueqing hadn’t missed the irony of the question. Xueqing knew her English was terrible. In three weeks of class, she had only managed to embarrass herself with her ineptitude, and now the teacher was standing next to her desk, asking her what she was doing here. Xueqing wondered why she had chosen this major as she struggled to think about how to express herself. She finally just tried to tell the truth.
“My grades in the other subjects weren’t good enough to study anything else.” Kun Na had helped her to complete the sentence when Xueqing struggled to find the right words. After they had finally helped their teacher to understand the answer, Xueqing looked away. How stupid she must seem. Her English was so terrible, but somehow it was her best subject. She hadn’t scored high enough on any of her other subjects to test into another major. Why did she choose to be an English major? Well, it was because she had no choice.
She wanted to explain that she loved art, and her dream was to be a painter, but her parents wouldn’t let her paint because that kind of living was too uncertain. But how did she explain that to her teacher?
The teacher smiled kindly and said, “Well, I’m glad to have you in my class.” She then moved on to another student and asked about his weekend plans.
Remembering the conversation made Xueqing blush again, even though no one was around. How was she ever going to survive four years in this impossible major? She finished the painting with a fluffy white cloud above her ocean and decided that maybe she could start by giving her paintings English names. This one would be Beach Dreams.