Today, one of my students came up to the front of the classroom before class started and just wanted to chat. We ended up talking for almost the entirety of the twenty-minute break between the classes, and I really enjoyed the conversation.
Part way into the conversation, Madeline told me that she was pretty nervous to talk to me. I was already enjoying the conversation, but when she told me that, I was also really proud of her. I’ve recently been reading Adam Grant’s book, Hidden Potential, and as an ESL teacher and a language learner myself, his first chapter about how people could learn multiple languages so quickly really appealed to me.
Grant said that the best way for people to learn languages well is to put themselves in uncomfortable situations and to be willing to make mistakes. I remember some of my early days of learning Chinese. I would try out one of the new words that I had learned on my students, and often, the entire class would burst into laughter. I tried to hide my embarrassment, but I felt humiliated. I was trying so hard to learn, and all my students did was laugh at me? I couldn’t understand it.
Later, I talked to my students about why they laughed, and they told me that they were so amazed and pleased that I was trying to speak their language that they couldn’t control their laughter. And I did have a funny accent.
During those first few years, I struggled to speak Chinese, and I battled with that discomfort so much. I dislike looking silly, but to learn a language, I had to be willing to look and sound like a toddler—actually my Chinese handwriting still looks like a kindergartner wrote it.
In fact, I recently decided that I wanted to learn Spanish, so I’ve been learning it through Duolingo. I know how to say all kinds of useless things like, “The woman eats an apple” or “I need my suitcase.” On Sunday, I was talking to one of my Spanish friends, and I decided that I wanted to practice something that I’ve been learning.
“I want to speak Spanish!” I said proudly in Spanish.
“Porque?” My friend teaches Spanish as a second language, so he has learned that speaking slowly and repeating yourself is key. When I stared at him blankly for several seconds, trying to remember if that meant “What?” or “Why?” He repeated himself slowly. A moment later, he translated for himself, “Why?”
In that moment, I had the terrible feeling that I had no idea how to respond to his simple question. Why did I want to speak in Spanish? One thing I had noticed when I first started speaking Chinese is that when my language skills are more limited, I often struggle with what to think. Not only could I not find words to express myself in Spanish, but I couldn’t even think of what I wanted to express in English.
“Because…” My friend said in Spanish, prompting me to continue, and I followed his prompt.
“Because…” But I still couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“I want…”
“I want…” I repeated. In that moment, I felt exactly as if I had reversed roles with countless students. I had stood where my friend stood, feeling like I was pulling teeth to try to get my students to answer a simple question. But when you don’t know, sometimes you just don’t know!
“…to learn Spanish.” My friend finished the sentence, and I repeated the words after him, feeling humiliated and ashamed.
“There you go!” He said, and I smiled half-heartedly.
A moment later, I tried again. “Do you have a dog or a cat?”
The randomness of the question must have humored him because he smiled, “No, I don’t have a dog or cat.”
At this point, I gave up, and said in English, “Well, that’s the extent of my conversational abilities in Spanish!”

This entire ordeal made me extremely uncomfortable, but after reading Adam Grant’s chapter about the importance of discomfort in language learning, I felt much better. Perhaps the conversation wasn’t as pointless as I felt like it was. I didn’t have any remarkable language discoveries through the conversation, but I had stretched myself and spoken through my discomfort. As language students, that’s what we need to do, and that’s what I want my students to do.
I was so proud of my student for talking to me for such a long time even though she was nervous and a bit uncomfortable. Her English was excellent, and we had a lovely conversation. There were a couple of words that she didn’t know, but she didn’t let that hold her back or stop her. I could even hear her voice shaking a few times, but she persevered. I wish that all of my students could talk to me even when they were nervous and stressed.
I’m honored when my students trust me enough to be uncomfortable with me, and I also want to create a classroom environment and relationships that allow my students that opportunity. Teaching can be such a joy!