Inspiration Words: Notion and Reach
The family stood again, and Tan Shuwen (tahn shoo wuhn) smiled at the other members of her family. This time it was her father giving the toast. Shuwen knew he was proud of her and her score on the gaokao (gow kow—the Chinese college entrance exam after high school). She had worked hard every night and had come out ahead of most of her classmates. Her high score ensured that she would be able to have her choice of colleges to attend in the fall.
Shuwen rarely drank wine, but her parents had poured her a small glass and smiled at her, “You’re an adult now. Enjoy yourself tonight,” they had said.
Now her father was in the middle of praising her yet again. “My daughter, Shuwen, has showed her ability as a member of the Tan family. I’m proud to call her my daughter, and I look forward to seeing what she will add to the family business.”
Everyone clinked their wine glasses, making sure to tap glasses with Shuwen, who sat at the place of honor at the round table, the seat facing the door. After she had taken a sip of wine and most of her aunts, uncles, and cousins sat back down, Shuwen cleared her throat.
“Thank you so much for coming. I’m thankful for all of your support this year as I have prepared for and taken the gaokao. I’m so happy it’s over—” Everyone laughed, and her younger cousin even gave her a high five. Everyone around the table understood the stress of the exam. “—and I’d also like to share my future study plan.” Shuwen glanced nervously at her father. He was smiling at her, encouraging her to go on. “I actually plan to study medicine.” Applause died before it had begun as her family members’ hands froze in the air. Smiles froze on faces before turning into confusion, but no one spoke.
Shuwen had expected this response, but for some reason, it still seemed to freeze her thoughts. She knew her family expected her to study business so she could join the family business. Becoming a doctor was probably the last thing they expected of her. Unlike in other countries, doctors in China didn’t usually get paid a high salary. They worked long hours, and due to outdated assumptions, sometimes didn’t get a lot of respect. Once, as a child, she went to the hospital and had fallen asleep in her father’s arms as they waited to see a doctor. She had jerked awake when she heard a patient screaming at a doctor about something Shuwen hadn’t understood. When they finally did see the doctor, she remembered thinking that the doctor had looked as tired as she was—and she was a sick patient. But that meant society needed more doctors, right? She wanted to help people, and becoming a doctor would be a good way to help not just patients, but other doctors as well.
Shuwen tried to continue, but the awkward silence was overwhelming. Everything else she had planned to say had completely left her mind. Don’t look at Mom and Dad, she thought. But she could see everyone else looking in their direction, and her eyes followed theirs until she saw her father staring back at her in disbelief and disappointment. So much disappointment.
No one clinked her glass and wished her good luck in her future studies, and Shuwen sat down a couple of moments later. She had said it. She looked back at her bowl of rice and noticed a piece of duck that someone had placed there. She picked it up with her chopsticks, but didn’t eat it. She stared at her bowl and knew everyone was looking from her to her father and back.
The meal didn’t last too much longer, and soon Shuwen and her parents were on their way home. All of them looked out the windows of the car, watching the city lights flash by. If the driver noticed their silence, he didn’t mention anything.
Once inside their apartment, Shuwen swapped her shoes for the comfy house slippers and headed toward her bedroom.
“Shuwen,” her father stopped her. “Your mom and I want to talk to you in the living room.”
“Ok,” she changed directions and sat down on the overstuffed couch that did not offer the comfort of sinking with her weight. Her mom sat down beside her, and her dad stood in front of a chair, but didn’t sit down.
The TV was off, and the room was strangely quiet.
“Why don’t you want to study business? The company needs someone with you and your skills. You would add a lot. You can choose which department you want to work in. Your mom could help you a lot if you wanted to go into the accounting side of things, and our marketing and sales departments also have great leaders. I even have hopes that one day you will be able to take over as president. But medicine? What do you plan to do with that?”
“I’m hoping to be a doctor.”
“A doctor?” Both of her parents looked at her like she had lost her mind.
“How do you expect to support yourself on a doctor’s salary?” Her father looked around him at the large, opulent apartment. “And where did you get all these strange notions? A doctor will have to study for a long time. Once you finally graduate, then you’ll work long hours with little pay and struggle to earn respect.”
“My math and science scores are higher than all of my classmates, and I really love those subjects. I also really want to understand disease and look for new ways to help people. And I want to try something different.” Her planned speech had returned to her, and Shuwen said the words quickly before her parents could interrupt her or stop her from speaking.
She didn’t need to worry because her parents seemed incapable of speaking after she finished. Judging by the looks on their faces, their shock didn’t allow them to form words.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t like studying business. I want to make new goals and see if I can reach them.”
Shuwen’s mom and dad looked at each other for several moments. Finally, her dad turned to her and said, “We’ll talk about this more later. You can go to your room now.”
As Shuwen sat in her room, wondering what her parents would decide, she turned on some music and finally relaxed. Her parents couldn’t really stop her from pursuing her goals, although she did hope that they would let her pursue those goals in peace, rather than fighting her every step of the way. But whatever happened, Shuwen finally had confidence that she had chosen a path, and it was going to be the best path for her.