Inspiration Words: Bell and salary
Paul stared at the computer screen before leaning back and rubbing his eyes. It was 8 p.m., and the office was still full. Most people were sending emails, contacting customers in the West, and trying to hammer out the details of various business deals. A few people scrolled through their phones, hunched over take-out food in plastic containers on their desks.
I think I can be done in one more hour; then I can go home, and it will finally be the weekend! This month, for the first time in over a year, he could finally look forward to the weekend as his days off. This weekend he was planning to meet up with Cai Ling (tsie leeng) and his other friends, and he was so glad he had time to see them again. But he missed his job at the training center.
The email notification on his computer showed that his client had responded, and Paul found himself missing those dozens of WeChat messages from his students. Sure, he sometimes got annoyed, but at least at the previous job, he was interacting with people he had actually met. He’d gotten into the habit of writing mental “Pros and Cons” lists since he’d started this new job. At his old job, he worked a ton, but at least he had the mornings to relax, since they worked afternoons and evenings. He thought working a 9-6:30 job meant he could leave at 6:30, but that wasn’t the case. Sure, now, he had Saturdays and Sundays off like his friends, but from Monday to Friday, he worked twelve-hour days. This job had no time for any kind of life except for what he could squeeze into the weekend. And the worst part is that the salary was lower.
Please confirm the price, and we will ship the goods to you on the date you requested. Paul typed the email and hit send. At least he still had the chance to use his English, but foreign trade wasn’t something he was passionate about. And sending emails hardly counted as using English; he couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken a word in English out loud. When the training center closed, Paul decided that maybe it was a sign to try something besides teaching. At that time, he was exhausted and he missed his friends.
But now he missed work that meant something. He missed interacting with real people—people that were more than just a name in the “To” or “From” slot in the email message. Not only did he lack a passion for foreign trade, but he was also still exhausted. And even on the weekends, he had to check his inbox and make sure he was on top of everything.
At 8:50 p.m., a distant bell rang in his mind. At the training center, a class would have been ending at this time. He looked around the office. Most of his colleagues had left, and Paul decided it was time he could also head home.
He turned off his computer, grabbed his bag, and nearly ran out the door. It was good to be on his feet again! Sitting down all day in cheap chairs sure didn’t feel good for his back.
“Hey, Fu Hao (foo how)! Wait up!”
Paul turned, still surprised to hear his Chinese name after finally getting used to his English name. His co-worker was just coming out of the building and walking toward him.
“Oh, hi, Xin Kun (sseen koon), are you headed to the subway?” Paul said.
“Yep! Man, it sure is good to be out of the office!”
“Couldn’t agree more,” Paul and his colleague started walking. They had about ten minutes to walk, and Paul wasn’t really feeling up to chitchat.
“I think I’m gonna quit,” Xin Kun said, after a moment of silence.
“Really?” Paul looked at his co-worker in surprise. “But you’ve been here for even less time than I have. You only started two weeks ago!”
“Yeah, but this isn’t what I signed up for at all. Didn’t it say 9 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. on the job description? It’s 9 p.m. now. And I have barely seen my girlfriend since I started. I think she’s about ready to break up with me.”
“That does sound complicated. What are you gonna do when you quit?”
Xin Kun laughed bleakly, “Look for another job—hopefully I’ll be luckier next time.”
“Hope so. Do you want to keep doing international trade?”
“I don’t know. If I do, then I’ll probably run into the same problem. All the communication has to happen at night, and that eliminates any kind of life.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“But what else can I do with an English language degree?”
“I’m right there with you. I feel like there are fewer and fewer options these days.”
Paul said goodbye at the subway as they headed toward trains going in opposite directions. Why am I doing this job? Maybe I should quit like Xin Kun. I don’t have a girlfriend telling me I should, but maybe this isn’t the best choice. I don’t have any sense of accomplishment when I go home. There’s always another email to send or another customer to try to talk to. It’s like an empty cycle of . . . nothing. Paul leaned against the corner of the subway car. Even now, after 9 p.m. the seats were all taken.
But do I really wanna go back to the training center life? Do I really wanna go back to working until 11 p.m.? And giving up weekends? Paul popped his headphones in and allowed himself to stop thinking as the hip-hop beat sounded in his head.
Yes, if I’m going to spend so much of my time at work, I want to be doing something I enjoy. If I have to give up time with friends, I may as well give it up for something that means something. Maybe I can try a kindergarten instead of a training center.