Conversations with taxi (or didi in China) drivers are almost always interesting. One guy in my city told me about the interesting things people had him transport—like a cat without anyone accompanying the cat. Someone just dropped it off and someone else picked it up when he arrived. Another taxi driver told me about how much money he earned—it was more than I expected—similar to my salary or a bit more, but the hours that he had to work were grueling. Another taxi driver found out that he and my friend were born in compatible years, so he suggested they get married. You really never know what’s going to happen.
The other day, I was taking a short taxi ride to the train station, and I saw several signs in the car asking people not to take off their shoes in the car. I hadn’t seen signs like this before, so I asked the driver, “Do people often take off their shoes in your car?” (We talked in Chinese, but I have recorded it in English for your convenience.)
“Oh yeah! It happens all the time!” He replied.
“What?! No way!” I was incredulous. I couldn’t think of any reason to take off my shoes in a taxi.
“Yep, people just pretend they don’t see the sign and take them off.”
“Then what do you do if someone takes off their shoes?”
“I always ask them to put them back on.”
“Do they always do that?”
“Sometimes. If they don’t, I stop the car and have them get out.”
“What?!” I couldn’t believe it.
“Do they get out?”
“Oh yeah, it’s my car, right? I have a right to expect people to wear their shoes.”
“So, you mean that there are some people who would rather get out of your taxi than put on their shoes?”
“Sure, it happens sometimes. And all kinds of people take off their shoes—Chinese, foreigners. It doesn’t matter where they come from.”
Baffled, I tried to imagine the interaction with the taxi driver pulling over to the side of the road and refusing to drive until whoever it was with stinky feet got out of his car.
“Where are you from?”
“The U.S.A. But don’t worry,” I continued. “I won’t take off my shoes.”
“Oh, I was just curious, I didn’t think you would!”
We kept talking about the foot issues. Apparently, this taxi driver is particularly sensitive to stinky feet anywhere.
I admitted that I sometimes take off my shoes on the airplane.
“I mean, if you don’t have smelly feet, then it doesn’t matter.”
I sighed in relief.
“But if they’re stinky, it really bothers me! If I smell somebody with stinky feet in a movie theater, I’ll turn around and tell them to put their shoes on.”
“Wow! You’re very direct!”
“Sure, I mean, we should have respect for each other, right? I’m gonna say what I think.”
The driver explained that he never went to college, he just started driving his car. He was 24 years old, and since he isn’t married, he feels like it’s a good enough job for now. “Maybe if I get married, then I’ll start a career, but for now, this is good.”
I got out at the train station and headed inside, still slightly amazed at the taxi driver who could so directly confront someone doing something that he hated.
When I got on the train, I had a window seat. Perfect. I settled in, pulled out my kindle and started reading. A guy sat down in the middle seat, next to me, and pulled out his phone. Then he started watching videos with the sound on. In that moment, I thought back to my taxi driver and his courage in direct confrontations.
I rarely confront people on subways or trains when they play videos loudly next to me. I try to express my displeasure by a meaningful look at their phone and then back to my book, or sometimes I glare at them. In that moment, I realized that this 2-hour train ride would be much more enjoyable if I just confronted him now.
“Excuse me, do you have headphones?” I tried to ask politely.
“Um, yes?” The guy looked at me—he seemed a bit flustered and confused.
“Do you mind wearing them?”
“Oh, um, yeah,” he fumbled around for a moment. “Or, I don’t need to watch this.”
He put his phone away and fell asleep for nearly the entirety of the train ride.
I smiled and settled back into my seat with my Teddy Roosevelt biography. Sometimes low-context communication is easy for Chinese and hard for foreigners, but however hard direct communication is, being clear about what we want and expect can be very satisfying.